The Birds and the Bees...literally!

Life would be much simpler (in at least one way) if we just lived on a farm. When kids grow up on a farm (so I've heard) they learn about the facts of life in a, well, rather "matter of fact" kind of way.

"Hey, mom, what are those two cows doing?" Johnny asks.
"Oh honey, they're mating. They're making a baby cow." Mom responds.
Then Junior replies, "Oh. Hmm... Mom, can I have a snack?"
"Sure, honey," mom answers as she quietly utters a prayer of thanks for Johnny's ADD. And that's the end of that conversation.

However, the reality is....we don't live on a farm. We live on 37th street. So, consequently the explanations are far more cumbersome, lengthy and awkward as I search for the right euphemisms and coded language. Often my poor kids end up more confused than before they asked.

Just recently, I had a perfect example of this delicate balance as I tried yet again to give my son enough information to satisfactorily answer his question, yet not give him too much information for his age. We were studying bats in science. And we were talking about how bats do not mate for life. I could see the wheels turning in Cade's head and finally he said,

"But mom, if they don't stay together for life- like a husband and wife, then how can they have babies?"
"Well," I said, trying to buy some time, "they, uh, come together and, uh, mate and then the male bat leaves..."
Cade looked rather puzzled. He thought about it for a minute, shook his head, put his head in his hands and under his breath said, "Ugh! I just don't get this whole mating thing!"